I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
