He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
