I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
