chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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