This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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