that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
