the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize