Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
