Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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