Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
