I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
