I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
