After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
