is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
