I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
