he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
