omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
