brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
