I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
