i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
