What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
should my penis look like a turkey
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
