What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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