a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
