she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She's the barista slut.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's shark week go big or go home
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
