Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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