So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
