I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
