Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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