He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the liver wants what the liver wants
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize