please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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