I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
