he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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