I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
