So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
