My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
