I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
