Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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