Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
