i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
