We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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