and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I need to calm my uterus...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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