Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
