Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Terrible idea I love it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
