Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
