Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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