I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
