every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
