somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
did i just pee glitter
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
