I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
