actually, I'm a sock model
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
