Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
