what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
