Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
