Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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