I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
