i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize