I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
