He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
