you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
