Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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