My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
