Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
