...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
