This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
