she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
