May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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