yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
