is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize