Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
