Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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