I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
