dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize